There is a wall that we build which shields us from many negative things. It helps us to avoid going from one bad relationship to the next, the friends that we choose and our overall life decisions but what about when this wall fails?
We spend years on improving this wall and adding new barriers, for it comes crashing down every so often. This leaves us mentally imprisoned; trying hard to decipher our moment of weakness when we allowed someone in for what seems to be a second, as they tear this wall of ours down for months at a time. Now we are exposed in more ways than one, giving freely of ourselves to another in hopes they do right by us.
What of disappointment?
It comes knocking at your door dressed as the sharpest of sales representatives and offers you a lifetime of despair and discomfort boxed in near perfection; the type of gift given daily as if your birthday never ends.
“Happy Birthday” disappointment screams!
Each candle you blow out is for another year of tears that know nothing of their place and so they drip as a faucet with a broken seal. Pulling yourself together in expectation of your gift, you place it neatly in your closet of skeletons; for the world need not see your anguish.
Who will hear my cry?
What funk am I in, confusing my happiness? I have fought long and hard for peace within and my soul tarnished regardless how many times I give my heart to another. Who punishes me so, to the point that I fear believing I actually deserve……BETTER? My eyes are unable to see the answer, for they are filled with pools of loves hangover as I stand before this mirror with my head held no higher than where my shoulders begin!
To each knee I will crash and pound these fists into this marble floor, my knuckles swollen as throats with an allergic reaction to tree nuts devoured. Each passing second cursed by my tongue for this life is all that I know, without ever asking for any of it and if for only a brief moment can I be given the opportunity to revert back to when I met this person to that very second when they first said hello to…….. WALK AWAY!
*drops the mic*
Written by: Daymon Patterson
Note from the Author:
Happy New Year to you all!
I would like to be able to give to each of you something special in 2012 for my Relationship Website and so you will find that my writing will become a living, breathing page as I write.
From time to time, I will resort to my old writing style but I enjoy change and I hope that all of you do as well. In advance, I thank you for taking the time to read my blogs and I look forward to talking with many of you. I appreciate the thoughts left behind here, on Facebook and my YouTube channel and I am grateful for each and every last one of you!
~ Happy New Year ~